"it's not you, it's your color"

2 year old article from the Advocate by Terrance Dean that talks about gay men dating (or not dating) outside of their race.

http://www.advocate.com/printArticle.aspx?id=98878

Bi-deology Project Part 1

Interesting documentary blog series by black heterosexual identifying woman, Arielle Loren, about heterosexual women's encounters/feelings about dating bisexual men. Very important view point she highlights on sexuality which rarely gets discussed, but should.

-I hope homegirl with the religious issues about dating bisexual men is either married to or not sexing the dude she's all cuddled up with, cus me and her would have to fight.

-I have a bone to pick with the white lady with who made the documentary about bisexuals... I am going to assume she is straight because supposedly this video blog thing is about straight women's encounters with bi men, but she positions bi women in some sort of male fantasy of girl on girl action as if straight male-bi female relationships are the only ones to be considered. Bisexual women have a lot to deal with when trying to date other women, at least in my queer community, similar to the issues that the documentary posits as issues bi men have when dating straight women. I wonder what the issues are when bi men want to date other men.

Queer @ the movies (amendment)

Ok, I totally don't know how I forgot this film but if you haven't see it, please go see The Crying Game, there's a twist in it, so I can't really tell you about it, but um, it's pretty crazy! Worth watching even if you know what the twist is.

The things I find on Craigslist...

Well, as it turns out people (in this case a white lesbian) post things like "Nubian Queen Wanted"... Before I get started, the body of the posting says nothing about wanting the woman to come from Egypt or the Sudan or being royalty, therefore I will safely assume, that "Nubian Queen" is a reference to black women. First of all where did they get this from? Is this a message from the late 80s/early 90s? Last time I checked, we don't use that term anymore. (well maybe the pornos do. I wouldn't know. I do know that they like to say "Ebony" a lot though, so I wouldn't be surprised).

Let's move on... why use Nubian Queen instead of black woman? Well one could say its a sign of respect. A sense of pride and respect for self and one another is where it came from when black men and women began to refer to one another as Nubian Kings and Queens, but it turned into a pick up line, and I'm hoping that people also realized that everyone can't be a king/queen (and definitely not everyone acts like one), and that if you're a descendent of enslaved Africans that were apart of the Atlantic slave trade, its unlikely that your ancestors came from Northern Africa. Either way, your kinda corny for saying it.

But anyway, white woman, with the iffy historical relationship btwn white women and black women (i.e. black women doing white women's domestic work and their own, while being unappreciated and treated like shit... oh wait that still goes on today, but throw in brown women and more immigrants), your wanting to pamper and serve (or in your words, "spoil"), seems more like a fetish than anything else. And that is creepy. Fetishes are more about the fetishist than the fetish object, i.e. its more about wanting to be with a black woman for what she represents in the fetishists desires, than for who she is.

Now I say all this to point out that even if you, white lesbian, turn out to be the best girlfriend in the world, and actually do love your black girlfriend to pieces... you calling her queen does not erase the history/the memories, and in fact it calls attention to it. This is not to say that you won't find a black girl who thinks nothing of it, or who fetishizes you, but let's recognize that there's a little more to the phrase Nubian Queen than another term for black woman.

Being a lesbian at a straight club with another woman...

means you always have to be prepared to grab your balls and the balls of the nigga bothering you.

I was at a party the other night with a young lady While we were waiting for the bathroom, some man wanted to dance with her. She said she was not interested, yet he persisted and went so far as to grab her arm. At this point I felt I needed to say something. Once I did he asked if we were together. I said yes. He said "Oh, I thought something was up. Sorry." and left her alone. I went to the bathroom and when I came out she was in the other bathroom. Unfortunately who was still outside was the same man, who I ended up having to stand in front of while waiting for my friend. He apparently took my location in front of him as an invitation, and proceeded to clutch me around my waist and grind on my ass. While I was pulling away he asked "what happened? you scared of me?"

Riddle me this: why the heck does he feel like I would want his dick on my ass? Why would my not wanting to dance with this old, not attractive, way too forward man have anything to do with me being gay or scared?

One day, possibly when I'm on my period (since that is when I do most of my getting riled up), some dude is going to catch it from me! I am getting sick of these men thinking that because I am a woman and/or because I'm gay, that they have free reign to disrespect me, the female I am with, and/or the fact that I am with this female. They would not as openly do such a thing to a female who they think is with another man. That is the type of shit men find so disrespectful and aggravating that fights break out. So why should it seem any less disrespectful and aggravating to me or any other queer female? Cut the bullshit fellas. Don't get slapped.

Randomness in Baltimore

Black queer folks in New York tend to think they have a monopoly on "the scene" North of Atlanta on the East Coast. And there is lots of fun to be had in NYC for a Black gay man. Secrets, Splash, G, etc. etc. But NYC isn't the only place on the East Coast that has fun shit to offer in the way of drinking, revelry, and perhaps debauchery. On a recent trip to the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia), a group of friends and I were running late. We were trying to make it to a spot in DC but it definitely wasn't going to happen by 2 am. We decided, instead, to stop off in Baltimore. After misleading instructions directed us to a 18+ Straight club with NO ALCOHOL, the night started to look like a bust. We decided to look up some other places and, at the stroke of midnight, happened upon Baltimore's gay section. 

The two clubs we went to that night were a vastly different experience from NYC. People weren't as scandalous, but perhaps they were a bit queer-er. What do I mean when I say that? Well, gay men in NYC have convinced themselves that scandal equals freedom. In Baltimore, below the Mason-Dixon line, I felt much more comfortable in a mixed male/female, Black/white/Latino environment than I could ever possibly feel in NYC. See, NYC is plagued by what I like to term gay apartheid. Chelsea and the Village might appear safe spaces for all queer bodies, but I guarantee you after being followed in sex shops, given funny looks on the sidewalks, mistreated by bartenders, etc. it is no environment that readily welcomes non-white, non-male gay bodies. Baltimore's scene is, I'm sure, no paradise. But from my short time there, the people, the bartenders, and the bouncers recognized that they were all marginal simply by having their bodies in the "gay" part of the city. 

Baltimore may not be the best GAY city, but it beats NYC in QUEERNESS. 

Queer @ the movies

Some movies that at least have a queer tilt to them. I tried to not include ones that people have seen or are extra talked about like DEBS or But I'm a Cheerleader, or Bound, Boy Don't Cry

Oralndo- Gender bending time traveling ass movie.. CRAZY and CRAZY GOOD!

Watermelon Woman- BLACK QUEER MOVIE about a white-black lesbian couple. The Black star of the film is also the director and writer.

Howl- Movie about the poet Allen Ginsberg

Hairspray (1988) by gay filmmaker John Waters- This one has the drag queen, Divine, playing Edna Pingleton as well as a male character.

Pink Flamingos - Another John Waters film starring Divine. Its called a transgressive film because it goes against conventions and mores that films tend to have. Lots of Taboos, lots of queer stuff going on. So, if you're in the mood for something a little different, go find this one.

M Butterfly - This is about a white French man who goes to China in the 60s and sees a traditional Chinese opera and falls in love with its star. He goes on to marry this star, ignorant of or neglecting (you decide) the fact that in traditional Chinese Operas all of the actors/singers are male. Yikes! Let the drama begin!

Brother to Brother- Young black gay art student befriends an old black homeless man who, turns out, used to be an important figure in the Harlem Renaissance. They find similarities in their having to deal with homophobia.

Frida- Yeah Frida Kahlo got downe too yall!

Shank- (H.W.'s suggestion)... I've never see it but its about a guy who hides his gayness from members of the gang he's a part of.

Angels in America- This is actually an HBO miniseries based on a play by Tony Kushner about Regan era politics and the AIDS epidemic, and also brings in McCarthyism as a sort of parallel. Lots of great actors in this one!

Black.Womyn.Conversations- Great documentary about black queer womyn and basically how they navigate life especially in queer spaces. You'll laugh, you'll think some things are ridiculous, you may even cry. Best to watch with at least one other person.

Better Than Chocolate- corny but cute RomCom movie set in Canada about a lesbian who has to balance having an love affair with a woman while her family, who she is not yet out to, is forced to move into her loft.

www.zanelemuholi.com

"Mapping and Archiving A Visual History of Black Lesbians in post-Apartheid South Africa "

Please rise for the national anthem....

Jimmy Got Fingered

Baldwin wouldn’t fuck me even if we were the last two faggots

left on earth. Jimmy liked the Giovannis, John Gallianos, or

maybe an Oscar Wilde. Me, I would take a Marc Jacobs (if the

opportunity came knocking). I don’t even know if pristine cocks

like that are into Black Boys. Queers need an alternative

society. Two men fucking each other will always be an

absurdity. Unless you’re a cunt licking lesbian. Dykes get play

too. Nietzsche knows what I’m talking about. I suck therefore

he comes. Eureka! Freud needs to liberate Foucault. Proust was

on some other shit. Steers, Queers, Fems, Trans, AGs, and

everybody on the DL wants to fall in love. lol!!! Really, gay

people getting married? That shit is hella hetero. Quakers are

my Friends. Those my mutha fuckin niggas….they, get it. Atomic

bombs are uncut. So is Dali. Now Egypt has a revolver. Jamaica

never got their revolution. Tulsa gave Larry Clark a pistol.

(GILTF) “Guy I’d Like to Fuck;” Kanye wears JESUS pieces. Jay’s

a big brother but that nigga just needs a father. TAKE MY LIFE.

I feel like dying.

harlem outpost